Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
