I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
