I heard we made out
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
