this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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