you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
