I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
