i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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