we're blogging at a bar
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
