I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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