and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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