On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
