Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
