C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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