I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
