i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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