but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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