During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
