my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
