...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
