good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
