tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
