She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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