we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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