I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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