so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
