Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
