well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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