Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
