He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
