if you like me you must not know who I am
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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