i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You may now shotgun with the bride
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
