Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
