Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
