official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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