Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
