Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Life is so much better after having sex.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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