I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
