I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
