He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
