Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
