Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
