It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
