It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
