how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Randomize
