Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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