After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Randomize
