Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
we're so committed to being not committed
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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