I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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