i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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