I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
